Crypt

in response to Three Word Wednesday's latest post

I feel surrounded and suffocated and haunted and worthless
the worst part is I know I am none of those things
I know I can breathe and be free if I just try
but it's more comfortable to stay, here.

for you it's easy: ruddy cheeks and eyelash blinks
and twirls of feminine something that I can never get the hang of
I feel clunky in my skin and wish I could step out of it
wish I could skin myself alive without feeling too abnormal

then I could start over
lavish in new beginnings
trap whats mine in a gilded shell
and say I never faltered

would you want to save me then?
could I teach to look for me if i lose myself in you?
are we resigned to descend if nothing's ever up?

I honestly just wonder
is all I have to do is look dainty and smile
and dangle my heart over boiling saltwater
or can I actually be broken?

maybe I'm doing it wrong.
maybe the hands squeezing my chest belong to me
I've been running from myself so long I've forgotten what I look like
and I'm afraid of what I'll become if i remember