Diari

it's not even christmas break and I already feel hollow. and no
I'm not just saying that because I miss you
I do though
but that isn't just it its more like I'm one half of something
but I don't know what's missing or how to find out
and I know that sometimes i've felt whole and that was good
most of those were you and now I've got this emptiness, this void
and I want to punch myself and hurt myself to snap myself out of something, anything, whatever
but, by definition, i'm scraping the sides which is hurting my knuckles
and classy ladies don't hit things and that's what got me here in the first place
so there
it's done, and it's out and i'm here in my room making peace with the sound of my air conditioner/heater
which is this white noise that I can pretend are people and then I won't be lonely
and its nice because it can keep me cool and make me warm
just like people so it's basically the same as having someone care for you
right
can you just come over
you don't have to talk but I don't want to float away
just tether me so I know I'm not lost